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Messages - Fred21

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3
World Chat / Re: The Who
« on: October 17, 2018, 06:09:42 PM »
Roger Daltry interview starts just after 1.06.00:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0000pw6

4
World Chat / Re: A joke or two to start the week.
« on: October 16, 2018, 11:40:58 PM »
Some old friends in this lot:

Phone answering machine message: "...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..."
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A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
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I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 pence that he couldn't  reach the meat off the top shelf.
And he said, "No, the steaks are too high."
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My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.
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A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor,doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
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I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
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Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
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Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says,"I'll give you some cream! to put on it."
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A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed? "
"No, because he's really heavy"
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Guy goes into the doctor's.
"Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside
"How's that?"
"Don't you start."
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Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
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So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'
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Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other, "Your round."
The other one says, "So are you, you fat bast**d!"
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Two prostitutes standing on a street corner.
One says to the other, "Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
The othe! r replies, "No, but I've been swung around by the boobs!"
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
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"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places"
The doctor said, "Well don't go there any more"
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

5
World Chat / Re: The TUTS Throatbox > What Are You Drinking This Week?
« on: October 16, 2018, 07:41:28 PM »
Yes indeed!

Teev: URGENT!

We need a song please - something along the lines of "It's warming up my drink"!

Seriously, this is far from good news. I start teaching my Atmospheric Pollution module next month and I was thinking of showing some recent news stories to start the first lecture. The recent report about it not being too late to avoid the 1.5 oC rise and Trump's ramblings on climate change were obvious candidates to begin with, but I think that this story might have most immediate impact on a bunch of students!

6
World Chat / Re: The Top 40 Best-Selling Studio Albums of All Time
« on: October 16, 2018, 06:50:38 PM »
Really???!!!???!!!???!!!???!!!???!!!???!!!

7
TV Live / Re: How Many Times Have You Seen TV Live?
« on: October 16, 2018, 06:43:45 PM »
Afraid not. I largely gave up writing them out when TJ did - if you remember TJ...

9
World Chat / Re: The Top 40 Best-Selling Studio Albums of All Time
« on: October 15, 2018, 07:46:15 PM »
...or another list!

10
TV Live / Re: How Many Times Have You Seen TV Live?
« on: October 15, 2018, 07:44:54 PM »
But are we listing to



port                                                   

                                                            or                                           

                                                                                                                 starboard?

11
TV Live / Re: How Many Times Have You Seen TV Live?
« on: October 15, 2018, 04:34:08 PM »
Bloody hell! We're back to lists again are we?












Anyone remember TJ?

12
World Chat / Re: The Top 40 Best-Selling Studio Albums of All Time
« on: October 15, 2018, 04:32:11 PM »
I've got Tubular Bells, Bridge Over Troubled Water and Rumours - and I also quite like War of the Worlds, but more for the narration and sounds effects than the music if I'm honest as I LOVE the book, so not enough to buy it.

My wife's a "pop" fan and probably has about seven of those albums.

The only one we both bought was Simon and Garfunkel's - one of VERY few artists we like enough to have been to see together, but that's another thread...

13
World Chat / The Top 40 Best-Selling Studio Albums of All Time
« on: October 15, 2018, 01:43:21 PM »

14
I only wanted the first bit...

15
Oh, you think I could sue Klaus and/or TV for being a mod?  ;D

Quote

No, you should sue Paul Weller!








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